Yes is easier to say, no is easier to do.

In high-performance work cultures, “yes” is the default. Yes to opportunities, yes to meetings, yes to helping out. On the surface, it feels good. You’re being useful. You’re making people happy. You’re part of things. But over time, those yeses add up, and often not in your favour.

If you say yes when the honest answer is no, you’re choosing short-term relief over long-term cost. You get a hit of social approval, and in return, you inherit a task, a deadline, a favour, a distraction. And then you wonder why your own list never gets any shorter.

Of course, some things deserve a yes. When they align with your goals, support your team, or create impact beyond yourself, that’s when it’s worth it. But most yeses aren’t filtered that way. They come from guilt, politeness, momentum, or habit. That’s the danger.

In work, saying yes too often means filling your calendar with other people’s priorities and bumping your own to late-night hours. It means working hard and still feeling behind. It means being helpful at the cost of being effective.

This isn’t a call to be selfish or difficult. It’s about being selective. When someone asks something of you, that task doesn’t land on a blank page. It lands on top of everything else. You already don’t have time. You’re already busy. Saying yes just because you don’t want the awkwardness of no is a poor trade-off. You’re giving someone else’s request priority over things you already care about, and that’s the start of resentment.

The more I’ve looked at this, the more I see how people-pleasing is often disguised as productivity. You say yes because you don’t want to be rude, but now your goals are buried under things you never really chose. Politeness is driving the car. Your mental health and ambition are in the back seat.

So how do you decide? Ask yourself:

1. Does this move me forward on my own path?
   James Clear writes in Atomic Habits, “Every action you take is a vote for the person you want to become.” If your yes doesn’t support that version of you, it’s probably a no.

2. Is this actually important to me?
   Greg McKeown, in Essentialism, puts it simply: “If you don’t prioritise your life, someone else will.” It’s easy to get swept into other people’s agendas, but if it’s not your priority, why does it go to the top of your list?

3. Do I care about the outcome?
   Mark Manson writes in The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck*, “You have a limited number of f*cks to give. Spend them on what matters.” If you wouldn’t care whether this thing succeeded or failed, why take it on?

I recommend reading all those books.

You can even play it out. Say you’re invited to something you don’t want to go to. You say yes, keep them happy for an hour, and spend two days dreading it. You say no, they’re mildly disappointed, but they move on. And you get your time and energy back. One option costs you. The other one frees you. You decide which is worth more.

This doesn’t mean always saying no. Context matters. Don’t disappear. Don’t constantly push people back. But make sure your yes is deliberate. And don’t be afraid of the word no. You’re not being unhelpful. You’re being honest.

At work, when someone asks for something that’s not the priority, think carefully. If you say yes, you might deliver both tasks badly. If you say no, you risk a moment of discomfort, but you protect the thing that actually matters. That’s leadership. That’s focus. That’s knowing where you add the most value.

Saying yes often makes you liked. Saying no, when it’s right, makes you respected. And it gives you space to do the work that matters, for the people that matter, including yourself.